Thursday, 19 May 2011

Love doesn't always need words......

Just last post I was writing about such joyful experiences...... how things can change overnight.

Our family & friends are coming to terms with the magnitude of the loss of the second beautiful baby of immediate family members in just 10 months.

There aren't words that can adequately describe the shock, the grief, the sadness, the sense of unfairness, the cruelness of it all.

There are many many people who are waking with heavy hearts and will continue to wake feeling this heaviness for quite some time.

It will take time to feel the fog lift.

What has been apparent surrounding this is that we are surrounded by love.  Both within our two families and by the hundreds of friends who have offered hugs in silence as we shared tears- because there are no words.

We don't always need words.

One of my lovely friends who has constantly been sending me little messages of love throughout this awful time from across the other side of the world nailed it when she said... "All that is expected of anyone is their presence and their support. I really don't think that is too much to ask. No one is expected to be able to make it better but everyone wishes that they could."

I cried & cried at this message- at the clarity of it.  

Showing love is what we need.

The presence of love.

Despite the heaviness I feel and the massive sadness that fills my soul at how this could possibly be happening ....a little part of my soul allows room for hope.

The love that surrounds us all is this hope that keeps me going. 

Don't be afraid to show it. 

Love doesn't always need words.


I have been comforting myself by lots of cooking....and the other night I had a hankering for a curry fiesta to warm my heart.  
Saag Paneer (Indian cheese in spinach) is my absolute fave curry and I was keen to make the Paneer which I hadn't done for some time- it is relatively easy and I love the magical process of watching milk turn into cheese right before my eyes.
You just need a little time (& LOTS of milk) before you cook to allow the cheese to drain so allow a few hours before you cook to do this step.


  •  1 1/2 litres milk
  • juice of a lemon (about 2 tablespoons)
  • 2 packets frozen spinach
  • 1 onion
  • 3 cloves garlic
  • 1 inch piece of ginger
  • 1 tblspoon coriander seeds
  • 1 tblspoon cumin seeds
  • 1 whole dried chilli
  • 2 teaspoons fenugreek seeds.
  • 2 tablespoons ghee (or a mix of butter & oil will do)

To make the Paneer (1 1/2 litres of milk makes about 200g Paneer) :
Place milk in a pan and bring to boil.  Immediately reduce heat & add lemon juice.
Stir as the curds separate from the whey.
Strain through muslin cloth and place a weight on it.
Leave for an hour or so and cut into cubes.
It should be like firm feta cheese in appearance.

To make curry sauce:
In a pan dry roast the spices till fragrant. Allow to cool & grind. (you can use pre-ground spices but roasting will give a more complex flavour- you won't be sorry at making the extra effort!) 

In a non stick pan add Ghee and saute chopped Paneer cheese till lightly brown and remove (it is not necessary to brown the paneer but I prefer the appearance and flavour).
In same pan add finely chopped onion, garlic & ginger.  Cook on a low heat till caramelised.

Add spice mix and stir through well. Savour the perfume!

Add the spinach and cook through- add a little water if it is too thick.

I blitz the spinach mix as I love a creamy sauce- but this is entirely up to you.

Add the paneer about ten minutes before serving to warm through and allow the flavour to infuse.

Serve with Basmati rice & my lovely Indian potato curry for a vego feast!

Curry comfort!

I have been loving this track......



  1. Sad for what you're going through, but inspired by the way you're going through it. X

    And thank you for the saag paneer recipe. It's my all-time fave too. Gonna give it a whirl as soon as we get to California.


  2. Cooking good food and loving good food reminds us of the nature of creating, making, churning, loving, changing, dying, transforming and on and on and ever and that's how we keep the space, a little tiny space, to dream up new dreams and to kiss gently the ones that evolved too quickly for us to catch them....we just sit sometimes with the meaning, we just let it be untranslated......much, much love, Veronica.

  3. Cooking soothes the soul... and sometimes, love is all we have to give. You will be in my thoughts.

  4. Oh Ruth, what a beautiful post. My heart breaks for you all.

    You are amazing, you know. That you still take the time, in the midst such staggering tragedy and heartache, to share with us the beauty of the things that give you comfort and solace: things like the simple sustenance of food, of feeding your beloved ones, or the acknowledgement of the humble yet profoundly powerful thing that is Love, and how it buoys you up and transcends even something as horrific as this. Eventually.

    Thank you.

  5. What an awful and sad being words reality you speak of but as your gorgeous friend says, all we can do is hope, wish & be there for one another and through creating little bits of love with our own hands we show how much we care, we express ourselves and we slowly bring healing. I am do incredibly sorry you and your loved ones are going through this. Know that I will be thinking of you and that I will make this curry and wish you all love, light and peace as I enjoy it with my own loved ones. Xxxxx

  6. You don't have to cook fancy or complicated masterpieces - just good food from fresh ingredients.
    Julia Child

    The love that surrounds us all is this hope that keeps me going.
    Don't be afraid to show it.
    Love doesn't always need words.
    Ruth Bruten

  7. you're so right, my darling Ruth. It is love which gives me hope too. your Joma. xxxxx

  8. I was so looking forward to reading the next “instalment”, as i always get a smile out of your adventures, i am able to relate so much back to my own crew.
    Instead i had tears not smiles, my sincere condolences for your tragic loss, life does not make sense at times. Please know we are thinking of you and sending all our love.
    I would like to share some wisdom from a beautiful friend, who helped me through a rough patch of great loss a few years back.
    She told me she wanted to be the BRAVE one, the one who did not say nothing but said i don’t know what to say. She wanted to be the STRONG one who said i don’t know how you feel. She wanted to be the one with the COURAGE to visit me as if life was normal and talk about everyday things. Everyday at 11.00 she would think of us and send her love, along with this, through her admissions came bravery, strength and courage. I found myself looking at the clock at 11.00 each day and often still now, with my heart feeling warm simply with the knowledge that amongst all the tragedy and drama in my life, there was still an enormous amount of love.
    So as we near 11.00 please know i am sending this all to you.

  9. Yum..we always order this vegetarian dish at an Indian restaurant, but now we can cook it at home. Your recipe looks so simple and easy to make at home. From reading it, I know it tastes delicious. Has all the necessary Indian spices. Thanks. Victor


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